2-Months-Old...NO WAY!

No.

Frazzlin'.

Way.

I can hold my head up high all on my own!

Has my mom mentioned to just how cute I am? Also, how strong I am?

Oh, and did she mention how much I love the LORD?

Shots! Ouch!

1st Round of Shots
This just so happened to be the next day after coming home from Memphis. :(

Ouch!
Ahhhhhhhhhh...

Help!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...



I did SO good! I was such a BIG boy! Hey, I only cried a little.........



Then, after a long nap and a much needed date with my bottle...in walks Mommy with my Pulmozyme treatment! Sheesh!



When does all this attention end?



Miracle in the Making...

I am definitely a little behind on updating our family blog; however, I feel pretty confident I can explain and justify my "slacking" off a tad these past couple of weeks.

Firstly, can I say one thing?

In the past 3 weeks, my family and friends have witnessed not one...not two...but THREE miracles through my child.

This is my reason for writing this post. This is my reason for sharing our son's journey on facebook, through a blog, and openly in conversation with so many. It is truly incredible, just amazing that God chose our family to show his love, strength, power, and perfection through such a tiny being.

I even contemplated leaving this post out being that the 2nd month of my child's life has been so emotionally exhausting, so challenging, and difficult...yet I can still manage to say it has been so wonderful all at the same time.

Gunnar has been having breathing trouble since close to birth. It is worse while he is taking a bottle, but he makes the sounds randomly throughout the day, each day. A lot of the time we blamed it on Cystic Fibrosis. The rest of the time I spent my time in prayer and calling doctors and nurses at the CF clinic at LeBonheur to get their opinions as to what I should do to help get him well. Little did we know at the time that these sounds were just apart of what makes Gunnar unique...at least for now. I'll explain more about that later.

One morning I woke up and couldn't bare the thought of hearing my little man struggle to get air any longer. I had given him a bottle, and it seemed as though the sound had intensified. He even was drooling bubbles of saliva. Nope, no more could I watch this happen without consulting a doctor and getting some type of answer. I picked up the phone and called the head nurse at the clinic at LeBonheur. After seeing no change since adding in extra CPT (chest physical therapy) and changing Gunnar's enzyme dosage several times, I knew then I had no other choice. I guess you can say I jumped right into "Mommy Mode" and followed my gut instincts. The nurse agreed I should take Gunnar to our local pediatrician, Dr. Robertson, and have him check his vitals. Dr. R checked Gunnar from head-to-toe and listened to him both with and without a bottle. He even monitored his oxygen while doing so. He agreed there was definitely something going on as his oxygen was dipping while I fed him and phoned LeBonheur to discuss with the pulmonology team there. We were instructed to go home, pack our bags, and head to Memphis for testing. We just didn't know then that what we thought could be an overnight stay turned into a 2-week stay. The longest 2 weeks of our lives.

Within those 2 weeks, Gunnar endured the following tests/procedures/treatments:

• 2 swallow studies (without feeds for hours at a time for testing)
• bronchoscopy (put to sleep)
• rigid bronchoscopy (put to sleep)
• esophagram (without feeds for hours a time for testing)
• ventilator for over 48 hours
• NG-tube through his nose for feeding (almost the entire stay)
• deep suctioning down the nose/throat through a tube
• numerous IV's (both hands, upper arms, both feet all at different times)
• numerous antibiotics with many side effects
• MRI
• CAT Scan (both w/ and w/o contrast)
• increased CPT
• pulmozyme breathing treatments
• albuterol breathing treatments

...and the list goes on.

Needless to say, Gunnar kept fighting until we finally received the answers to what was going on in our tiny baby's body since birth. Some things which had absolutely no relation or connection to CF. Things we wouldn't have known were going on had we not had CF and been as alarmed from the get-go.

What were we told?

• He would be 100% having a tracheostomy, and he would have to have the trach up to 2 years of his life.
• He had a subglottic cyst...possibly even a tumor in his windpipe blocking over 50% of his airway. It would have to be removed and if ruptured, it could close off his airway (why trach was a must).
• The cyst would most likely grow back.
• His left main bronchial stems was abnormally small.
• His lungs were filled with more mucous/secretions than most CF babies at his age.
• Both of his lungs were extremely swollen and irritated.
• His left lung was 80-90% compressed by something pulsating against it which could be his heart, a vessel, or even a mass of some sort.
• He had severe lung disease based on the sound he was making.
• He had both staph and strep show up in his lung cultures taken from the bronch.
• He had a hole in his heart.
• He could possibly have heart surgery which would include breaking open his sternum, threading his heart, and pulling it off his lung.
• "Your son is being extubated off the ventilator now." (Moments later after Gunnar started to wake, the doctors came in to inform us he will have to be intubated and sedated again because the scans were not done right the first time.)
• He was aspirating his feeds and would probably have to have a G-Tube inserted in his tummy to be fed so that it did not seep into his lungs, build infection, or cause any further complications.

...and so much more.

What did we do?

We prayed.
The world prayed.
The doctors prayed.
The nurses prayed.
Nonbelievers prayed.
Believers prayed.

We all prayed to God, our Father crying out for healing for my precious infant.

What happened?

• He floored the doctors.
• He floored the nurses.
• He floored his family.
• He floored his friends.
• He floored nonbelievers.
• He floored believers.

He brought us to our knees, and we shouted praises up to God for answering our prayers.

Because...

• He did not need a trach.
• He did not have a tumor.
• He did not have a subgottic cyst.
• The hole is his heart was small enough not to need surgery.
• His left lung was more like 50-60% compressed rather than 80-90% as they originally thought.
• He has a low-lying aorta pressing on his left lung, but we were told surgery was not needed at this time and that it will just be monitored as he grows.
• Both of his lungs were extremely swollen and irritated because he had staph and strep which have been treated with strong antibiotics.
• The second and final culture showed the antibiotics did the trick.
• The sound he makes...a tracheal cleft which is an extremely rare birth defect that at this time does not need surgery. The doctors will monitor it as he grows just as with his heart.
• Tracheal Cleft - only the 2nd case in 40 years...the doctors were speechless.
• He is off the ventilator and is breathing 100% room air all on his own.
• He is not aspirating his feeds, and we can go back to bottle feeding.

Can you believe HE chose OUR child to show His MIGHTY WORK.

Thank you, Dear Lord...thank you.

We are now back home, in our own beds, and continuing to watch God work in our son's life...all of our lives. Gunnar is such a fighter, such a warrior.......such a WITNESS of strength, power, and love. What a testimony he has to share with the rest of the world.

See, little man, you are already are making your mark in this world. If you only knew the prayer warriors that have accumulated over these past couple of weeks. You are so loved! ...and we, my dear son, are so blessed.

Just Breathe.

What if God was one of us?

One of my favorite movies happens to be playing tonight. While my husband, Gunnar, and myself were watching we couldn't help but wrap our ears and hearts around the song that was playing in the background of one of the movie scenes. Many may have heard this song. The lyrics read, "If God had a name, what would it be? ...and would you call it to His face if you were faced with Him? In all His glory...

what would you ask Him...if you had just one question? What if God was one of us?" Wow, now that is deep and definitely worth pondering on for some time.

Isn't that such a powerful question? So, I ask you, my dear friends...

What if God was one of us?

In all His glory what would you ask Him if you had just one question?

I know what I would ask Him. I would smile the biggest smile, tears rolling down my cheeks only to look up at my Heavenly Daddy and proudly ask..."Why and how was it that you chose to bless ME and give ME the privilege in raising such an amazing, strong, and inspiring son?"

A special thanks to another precious friend who has a baby boy with CF for encouraging me to read a special piece about mothers with children who have special needs and/or illnesses written by Erma Bombeck titled, "The Special Mother."

In this piece Bombeck is writing as though God is having a conversation with one of His angels. God says, "I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side."

Forever blessed I am to be Gunnar's Mommy. Thank you, Dear God, for believing in me and giving me this opportunity to share your word throughout my tiny blessing's walk.

Josh, Gunnar, & Gia taking advantage of a free Saturday morning. :)

Godspeed, Little Man

My new favorite song is "Godspeed" by the Dixie Chicks. One of the verses says, "Godspeed, Little Man, my love will send to you each night on angel's wings...Godspeed, Little Man." This song says it all. Forever and ever, my baby you'll be.

Oh, and did I mention Gunnar is five-weeks-old today?!

Clock, s-l-o-w DOWN right now!

Here is another little video I recorded this morning of my handsome little man holding his head up all on his own (which he has done since birth might I add!). Oh...the little things...

I'm 1 month old!

It is truly hard to believe that our first born is already a month old. Where has time gone? Don't get me wrong...we can't wait to hear his first words, first laugh, first steps, and first everything, but we simply do not want our little man to grow up. I already tear up when I start thinking about him leaving home for college. Yes, I know...rediculous. We are so in love, and this has truly been the absolute best month of our lives. He has brought so much joy.

Gunnar Lane Herndon is the best gift we could have ever received. He has brought a whole new meaning to life. There is not a day that passes by that we are not thanking our Father above for placing him in our care. We look forward to watching him learn, strengthen, and grow both mentally, physically, and spiritually.

This kind of love is like no other.

You inspire us to be better parents and better people.

We love you so much, baby boy!

Love Always, Mommy & Daddy

Where's my rubber ducky?

We have come a LONG way since the very first time we brought Gunnar home. Josh and I were scared to death! haha! Being first time parents is a scary thing. It didn't take us long to start learning his cries.

We had to start out with sponge bathing which Gman did NOT like at all. He would shiver until I finally would just break down in tears with him. I felt helpless. Well, that was until the doctors and my mom finally convinced me that it was okay to let him cry every once in a while.

Here is a look at what bath time was like when we first brought out little man home...




Yikes! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm cold, Mommy!

 Once we were finally able to "soak"...we grew to LOVE bath time. In fact, it would even put him to sleep! So, we learned in order for Gunnar to sleep hard at night between feedings...hey, just give him a bath! This at least allowed for 3 1/2 hours of total sleep rather than 1. haaaaa ha!